Five Fun Ways To Say Thanks!

Everyone appreciates a good, heart-felt thank you. But who says saying "thanks" has to be boring? In honor of Thanksgiving, and in my effort to offer you #HolidayHelp, here are a few fun ways you can say thank you to those in your life. Read all the #HolidayHelp posts here.


The Secret To Raising Good Listeners

*On a post I wrote about listening a few weeks ago, Lexie commented:

"Listening is not only important with our spouse and co-workers, but especially with our children. How can we teach our children to be better listeners?"

It was a great question and I started to answer in the comments. I wrote a post about how to help you kids become better communicators but never addressed listening specifically. 

After quickly reaching 500 words in the comments, I thought it might be a great follow up post. Thanks Lexie for the question and the topic idea.

The secret to raising good listeners:


Profiles In Bravery: Danise DiStasi...Teaching Leaders How To Be Relational

"ProfilesInBRAVERY" is a segment that highlights everyday people using the communication skills they have to do amazing things. The world may not know their name but their bravery and skill has changed someone's world. If you know someone who should be featured, contact me. 

Danise DiStasi
Name: Danise DiStasi

Title or position: Chief Relationship Officer

Business/Agency: DiStasi Advisors, LLC

Social media presence:
FaceBook: DiStasi Advisors, LLC
Twitter: @danised
LinkedIn: http://lnkd.in/CH3J9c

What does a Chief Relationship officer do? Why that title instead of CEO of DiStasi Advisors? What message do you want to send?

Everyone is an executive of some sort or another; executive officer, executive coach, executive strategists, etc. Yet few executives truly understand the role of Relationship Leverage Strategist. This role goes beyond networking or building relationships purely to gain notoriety or business. No matter how technology savvy we’ve become, we still long for relationships. We want to do business with people, not an on line presence. Though I prefer Chief Story Teller ;-) as the Chief Relationship Officer, I assist companies understand how they can enhance their customer relationships two ways; empowering their employees to genuinely engage with customers and develop their most loyal customers to be advocates for their business.

Describe a time when you communicated poorly and what lesson(s) you learned from it.

Unfortunately, I’ve learned the hard way in personal and professional relationships. It has been through those lessens of miscommunication that I learned to humbly go to someone, ask for forgiveness and sought to truly understand from their heart what they were communicating to me and how we can communicate better together. I think these lessons have made me a truly strong woman!

Tell us about your books Steppin Out of My Skin and The Hike.
I wrote two books; Steppin Out of My Skin and The Hike. Steppin Out of My Skin is a fictional story and was a way for me to share my heart around the racial issues in Cincinnati. It was written from a white girl's point of view to send a message that we must be intentional about building authentic relationships with those of other races. It starts with me.

The Hike is about a troubled CEO who goes on a four day hike and is transformed by the end of the journey. Each character represents some sort of personal issue; pride, fear, doubt, lust and anger. The guide who leads them on the hike takes the group through the same experience I did with our training. All of the characters experience personal transformation by the end of the hike.

Describe a time when communication was key to your success. 

In building a career in sales, I learned very early the art of building relationships based on excellent communication. And unlike most sales people, it was not based on my ability to talk but rather my ability to truly hear someone. The first time I reaped the benefits of excellent communication was when I sat in a room at Ohio State University Medical Center with Radiologists, Physicist, Managers and technologists, and listened to their wants, needs and desires. When I presented the proposal, they were all pleasantly surprised that I actually heard them. I was surprised it was such a big deal to them but quickly learned in my field, that was not normal back then. I was able to continue to build on that key to success even up to today.  

What would your peers/colleagues/employees say is your best quality? 

Trustworthiness and integrity. It is interesting that trust was one of the biggest stumbling blocks for me to build relationships with others. When I realized that and was able to break through that obstacle, it became one of the characteristics others note about me.

What quality do you need to work on? 

I am a fiery Italian and that has gotten me into trouble from an early age all the way to now.  A friend taught me how to step back, change my thought, which then can change my feeling and believe it or not…actually change my behavior. It only takes a second and it works. I am much more reflective and contemplative which I think to some people is unsettling. I truly think before I react and I am still a fiery Italian in a good, God-given passionate way!!

What is your favorite quote? 
“There is always one thing more in a person’s circumstance that we know nothing of.” Oswald Chambers

Difficult people are a part of life, how do you deal with difficult people in your life? 
I pray that God will help me understand the “one thing more in their circumstance that I know nothing of,” and to see them as He sees them. I cannot help but have a different heart. Because I know God has a purpose in our paths crossing and He will turn around what ever needs to change and mostly in me. I live by Matthew 5:23.

What new and exciting adventure do you have coming up? 

Launching my business DiStasi Advisors, LLC. I am asked to help businesses build their sales division or fix a broken one. There is such a need in the business world for people to truly understand relational selling before they can put any sales process in place. There is an art in knowing when to move from relational to transactional. I also love leadership development. Our business world lacks good leadership role models who truly have integrity and are authentic.

"ProfilesInBRAVERY" is a segment that highlights everyday people using passion, leadership and/or communication skills to do amazing things. The world may not know their name but their bravery, skill, and passion has changed someone's world. If you know someone who should be featured, contact me. 


How Assumptions Stole Christmas

Good communication doesn't require a lot of time but it does require you to be intentional. 

Continuing in my series called #HolidayHelp, I want to help prepare you for the communication issues that threaten to sabotage our holidays. 

The first post in the series examined the pressure 4 distinct phrases contributes to holiday blues. Read that post here.

Today's post is about the importance of avoiding assumptions by discussing expectations and dividing responsibilities with your spouse or significant other. 


The F Word: Why You Should Embrace It

"I am staring it the face. The F Word. It is looking at me, daring me, even to respond to it. It wants to know what I am going to do. Will I cower just like in times past? I can see a smirk curl the sides of its mouth as it figures it has already won. Like a bully on the playground, it thinks it has me beat. "Any minute now", it thinks, "she is going to run away defeated."

It is a scene from those Western movies my grandmother loved to watch. 

I am facing my opponent, at high noon, in the dusty streets with sun blaring down on us both. We expect each other to reach for our guns and draw.Then I do something that completely wipes the smug little grin from its face.

I pick up my opponent and embrace it!"

The "f" word personified here is...


4 Phrases That Will RUIN Your Holiday

I am starting a series called #HolidayHelp. I want you to have a great holiday season but there are communication issues that might prevent you from doing that. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or Muharram, it is coming. Awkward communication situations.

I won't pretend I know the ins and outs of all of the celebrations that go on during this time of year but I am fairly certain they all have one thing in common....PEOPLE. Human beings observe them and share their observance with other humans. This means communication issues are bound to arise. 

During this series, I will speak to the traditions I know. 

Today, I want to focus on the communication phrases that will ruin your holiday season. 


How Brutally Honest Is An Excuse To Be More Brutal Than Honest

You have heard the term brutally honest, right? Sometimes, I think we want to be more brutal than we want to be honest.

I recently had a fight with my husband. It started when I asked if he would be home in time for me to teach a fitness class that started at 5:30p. He said he would be home in time. The class was 15 mins away in light traffic. Earlier in the day I sent him a text reminding him that I had my class at 5:30p. He said he’d be home in time. At 4:42 he texted me saying he was on his way home. I was thrilled! It takes him 20 mins to get home. I’d have time to leave by 5:10 to make it to my class. At 5:10 he still wasn't home. 

I call him. He stopped at the store to pick up dinner. Highly irritated I asked, "Couldn't you have….” Annoyed, he cut me off with a sharp, “No I couldn’t have.”


Why You Should Leave A Comment

 photo credit: Đ…olo via photopin cc

Leaving comments on blogs, articles, and other posts helps improve your communication skills! Didn't know that did you?

I recently came across a statistic about online engagement from the Neilson Norman Group study.

It said:

90% never contribute
9% contribute every now and then
1% contribute regularly.

These numbers are applied to blogging and comments too. I was shocked that 90% of blog readers are missing out on a chance to improve their communication skills.