Why We Don't Give Compliments

I write weekly for Asmithblog. Here is a post I hope you'll find helpful.

Good communicators know the value of being generous with their compliments of others. The word compliment is a noun with four definitions, all of which indicate we need to be giving away more of them:

*An expression of praise, commendation, or admiration.

*A formal act or expression of civility, respect, or regard.

*A courteous greeting; good wishes; regards.

*A gift; present.

A few myths may be standing in our way.

Myth:  Recipients will get big heads.

Truth: Their egos are already inflated.

We fear that telling someone how good they are at something will somehow turn him or her into an egomaniac. In truth, if someone is an egomaniac, he or she probably got there without your help. Good communicators practice what is right regardless of the circumstances. In fact, withholding a well-deserved compliment is a sign of egomania. We need to change focus. Complimenting others reduces the risk that the giver will become self-centered. If someone is an egomaniac, does that negate the fact that he or she did something right or possesses other admirable skills and qualities?

Read the full post here

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