Even if I can predict, which I usually can, every turn and twist, I still love romantic Christmas movies. My husband usually racks up major brownie points between Thanksgiving and New Year’s watching at least one a week with me.
As a romantic Christmas movie connoisseur, I have noticed they all have similar themes:
- A single person makes a deal with another single person to pretend to be a couple during the holidays.
- A couple or family on the verge of irreversible destruction pretends to be a picture perfect couple just for the holiday.
- Some character has a secret and keeping the secret has caused—or is causing—a rift in one or more relationships.
It seems that people would rather lie than face the truth.
Are you one of them?
It makes for great television, but I can’t help but get emotionally drained as I watch these characters dig themselves in deeper holes as they try to cover their tracks. The plot always unravels as the characters forget the lies they told or try to live up to the lies and just can’t.
- Blatant—This is the lie we know the most. It is purposely telling an untruth.
- Lies of Omission—This is witholding information or leaving out important details.
- Exaggeration—This is over-emphasizing the result, effect, or impact of something.
- Minimizing—This is downplaying the result, effect, or impact of something
- Not correcting error—This is knowingly letting someone believe something incorrect.
The Trouble With The Truth.What is so wrong with telling the truth?
A pastor once said “The truth will set you free, but it’ll make you mad first.”
The trouble with telling the truth is that it’s uncomfortable, vulnerable, and has unknown consequences.
Lies are comfortable. Lies show us as we want to be seen—invincible. The consequences of lies are known.
We lie because we think by doing so we can control the outcome of a situation. The truth pries control out of our hands. We are at the whim of truth. We can’t predict the outcome of truth and that is the problem with truth.
Or so we think. What would they really think if we just told the truth?
I don’t have money to buy lots of gifts.
I am angry that my loved one abandoned me.
I am ashamed that I was abused.
I lost my job.
My business isn’t successful.
I am in debt up to my eyeballs.
I get depressed during the holidays.
The kids, I had such an ordeal conceiving, are driving me crazy.What truth are you not telling?
From my years of watching of Christmas movies, the best part of those movie is when the truth comes out!
Ok, ok, in all fairness, the exact moment the truth is revealed is usually filled with anger, tears, and shouting. But that isn’t the truth’s fault. It’s the lie’s fault.
The moment the truth is revealed is also the moment everyone realizes, not just that they have been lied too, but also the depth and breadth of the lie.
In a split second, you are face to face with the fact that the people you care about have lied to you. That is where the anger comes from.
It is also a moment, when characters realize that they didn't know something. We like to think we know everything. That we are above being duped. And the truth reminds us that we are NOT invincible.
Think about it. Which is worse? Losing your job or telling your wife you lost your job 3 months after the fact? The truth, though not ideal, isn’t really the culprit. Lying is the culprit.
Two Guarantees In Truth.1. The truth will always come out. It can’t be hidden forever.
2. It will lead to freedom…eventually.
After the truth has come out, characters are free to really live their lives to the fullest. No more covering their tracks. No more pretending. I am not saying there are not consequences, or amends that need to be made. But the movies always end with the character trying to convince those they hurt of the truth instead of a lie.
I know life isn’t a well scripted (or in some cases poorly scripted) movie. But there are lessons we can learn. For me, the real magic in Christmas movies is finding the courage to do what’s right…especially when it is inconvenient. That is what BRAVE Communication is all about. This holiday, be honest with yourself and others. It really is the gift that keeps on giving.
Read all the #HolidayHelp posts here.
What is your favorite holiday movie and why?