Communication Mistake #3: Not Protecting Your Time

If time is infinite then why does it seem like we never have enough of it?

My new e-Book goes live Aug 1 and I thought I'd share with you one of the mistakes I see women in leadership make when it comes to the issue of time.

As I was sitting here reflecting on this summer, I've celebrated an anniversary. I've celebrated my oldest's birthday. And school will be starting before I know it. Time flew. At the beginning of the summer of was determined our family was not going to be busy this summer. I was not going to sign my kids up for a lot of VBS or day camps. I wanted us to enjoy each other's company and bond as a family.

Well you can't make a goal like that and not be tested. It was tested. I had to say no to activities (good activities mind you) in order to protect the decision I made of not being too busy.

I share this with you on the eve of my eBook launch because one of the communication mistakes I see women in leadership make is not protecting their time.

I have yet to work with a client who does not have an issue with time. We feel like we just don't have time to fit it all in, right?

I disagree. I have been living by the following mantra all summer and I love what it has done for my attitude and my energy. The mantra is: 

"There is always enough time to do what is important."

That is the mental shift I needed to make and reinforce when I felt like things were getting out of hand. In every day, there is always enough time to do what is important. I firmly believe that. The key is defining what is important. 

My faith, my family, my health, and my business are important. When I defined what activities corresponded to keeping those 4 pillars paramount, I had time EVERY DAY to do them. I admit I was shocked.

In my eBook I say, "Don't find time. Make it" because how you live each day is a choice. It is time to stop being thrown into a tail spin by whatever pops up. It is time to examine those misplaced obligations. It is time to be purposeful about how we use the time allotted to us. 

So let's do an activity that I do with my clients called "The First 5". 

Picture your calendar right now.Take note of what it feels like to see it stuffed full of stuff. Now, take the magic eraser and clear it off. Take note of what it feels like to have it completely clear. Next, ask yourself as you stare at the blank calendar: What are the first 5 things I want to add back? Take note of what it feels like to have those 5 things on your calendar first!

This activity shows you that YOU are in control of what goes on your calendar. It also reveals what is really important to you. Even if you can't come up with 5, the items you put on the calendar indicate their importance in your life.

My brand new e-book goes live tomorrow! I am so excited! 

Would you like a FREE copy?

All you have to do is subscribe to my new "BRAVE Unlimited" e-newsletter. 

When you subscribe to BRAVE Unlimited, you'll not only get a FREE copy of my e-book but you'll also get:

• personal notes and inspiration from me,
• news of products or services, 
• case studies,
• articles about women in leadership, 
• book summaries
• and more.

I promise I won't bombard your inbox. I sincerely want to connect to the women who believe they are called to leadership in the workplace. I am here to stir up your call and give you the tools, structure, and support you need to fulfill that call. 

Though the e-book is not available yet, you can SUBSCRIBE NOW to the newsletter. When the e-book goes live August 1, you'll automatically get it.

As a bonus, if you subscribe before August 1, I will offer you a FREE 30 minute AWAKEN your Brave strategy session. You will walk away from that session knowing exactly what is stopping you from being the leader you want to be now and what you can do about it right now and what specific things you can do now to see the change you want. 

Subscribe now if you know you are called into leadership and you want to completely fulfill that purpose.

Special Offer: You Can Finally Have That Difficult Conversation...Here's How

Crucial Conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high is a best selling book with over 2 million copies sold. 

Why would a book about having difficult conversations be a best seller? 

After decades of Jerry Springer and reality television, it is clear that people don't know how to disagree without drama, name calling, or harboring hatred.

From the shooting of Arizona House Representatives to bullied students turning violent to political protests turning into violent mobs, it is evident that there is a conversation crisis in this nation.

Why are so many people turning violent? One reason is people have not learned how to release the pressure valve before it explodes.

So many people keep emotions bottled up. Small fires unchecked turn into blazing infernos which can't be recalled once unleashed.

Forget the other person for a minute, they are important and we'll get to them later, but focus on yourself for a minute.

Think about that person who annoys. Is it your boss, coworker, spouse, child, friend or parent? Now ask yourself why haven't you had that conversation. 

• Do you tell yourself its no big deal...yet talk about it about with other people?
• Do you tell yourself you are going to "rise above it"...yet never do because it always weighs you down?
• Do you find it exhausting to even think about where to begin because it has bothered you for so long?
• Do you find yourself wishing you could avoid that person...even though you know you need them?

I see you nodding your head yes. We've all been there. Myself included.

Now check in with your body. How do you feel when you think about that situation, the answers to those questions, or the situation?

I would imagine you feel weighed down and tired. Aren't you tired of feeling that way? Aren't you tired of sweeping it under the rug?

If you don't learn how to have and deliver that conversation in a productive way, you'll explode at the oddest moment over the smallest thing. Maybe you've tried talking to them before, did represent yourself as best as you could?

The authors of Crucial Conversations ( Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillian and Al Switzler) actually say that when the stakes are the highest we tend to act the worst.

In order to regain your energy and freedom, you need to have a conversation. 

And not just any conversation, a conversation that allows you to be the mature, skilled, and respectful person you are.

Now let's turn your attention to the other person. Do they even know they are annoying you, causing you stress or acting in a way that is unproductive? 

We are relationship with people because we get to help each other grow. Did you ever think that your caring, well planned, drama free feedback could the crucial turning point in that person's development?

You owe it to yourself and the other person to be BRAVE enough to have a difficult conversation.

But you don't have to do it alone.

Books like Crucial Conversations are chocked full of great tips. I highlye recommend you read it.

I suspect, though, what you really need is coach who can help you tailor all the expert knowledge into a doable action plan that's right for you.

I'd like to help you with that.

For the next two weeks (offer expires June 30, 2014) I am offering 15 sixty minute phone coaching session called BRAVE Conversations where you and I will:

• Narrow down exactly what you want to say
• Discover what you NEED to say and why
• Plan and outline the conversation so you are clear, respectful, and honest... not whiny or emotional
• Practice exactly how it should be delivered 
• Increase you confidence and eliminate your anxiety

This limited time special offer is deeply (I mean deeply) discounted at $50 per session.

I can only do 15 of these so click here to reserve your spot. Don't wait. They will go quickly. Reserve your spot today.

Come on, isn't it time you stop hiding? Free yourself. I will walk right beside you to help clear the clutter and help you get to the heart of the matter.

You can do it.  Let me help!

Go to website now (before you talk yourself out of it) and reserve your spot now!

How Wasting Time At Work Can Advance Your Career

photo credit: quinn.anya via photopin cc

Wasting time at work is a cardinal sin, especially to hard working people. But I recently came across an argument for why and how you should waste time in a specific way.

Dr. Lois P. Frankel is the author of Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers. As a woman and a coach to women in leadership, I picked up the book to see what mistakes I or my female clients could be making.

Mistake #3 is working hard. I was surprised to see that on the list. The American dream is to start from nothing and, through hard work, work your way to something. We are taught that if you work hard, you will be rewarded. But Frankel suggests that is not true. Here is the example she gave.

Is Technology Killing Interpersonal Communication Skill?

I started reading Technopoly: The Surrender of Culture to Technology by Neil Postman, a professor and communication expert on identifying how technology changes how we communicate. Postman wrote most of his works in the late 80s and early 90s however as I am reading his views now, it as if he wrote the book yesterday.


Though Postman is accused of being a technophobe, one who fears technology, he really isn’t. He is the other voice to the technology enthusiasts. He points out one problem with technology is that while we herald it for the ways it will make our lives “better” we never stop to consider what problems it might cause. 

Communication Tips From Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte was the first book on my summer reading list. Somehow I had never read it before and I was curious. I found myself equally frustrated and fascinated, a desirable combination I must say, with Miss Eyre and her cast of characters. 

Along with the angst and longing, the story is filled with lessons. Two of my favorites quotes provide great tips about communication.