Why You Need To Change The Company You Keep

Do you surround yourself with like-minded people? Or do you feel like the odd-man out in your circle as you pursue your goals? Even your loved ones who support you may not always understand or can offer the help you need on your journey. 

The journey to becoming the most effective leader you can be is a beautiful one that requires you to change the company you keep along the way. Being the best leader you can be involves the help of others. 

John Maxwell says personal development thinks in terms of addition. Every skill or mindset is designed to add to your tool box. Leadership development thinks in terms of multiplying. You are no longer just focusing on the self, but on the many. 

In order to pursue your unique path of leadership, you must surround yourself with people of like minds. When I say like minds, I don't mean surround yourself with yes-men or people who think exactly the way you do. I mean people who are aspiring for something similar to you, who have a vision for a greater impact or to see a similar goal. Interact with people who will inspire you to keep going.

The main reason I decided to attend a women in leadership conference is to be surrounded by like minded women. I don't get to interact face to face with senior executive women as often as I would like. A conference designed for executive women is a great place to meet and mingle with people of like minds. 

Why change the company you keep

1. To prove you're not alone.

It is easy to think you are the only one pursuing a goal when you aren't surrounded by like minded people. It is easy to doubt your sanity, question your resolve, or feel out of place. Once you connect with a group of like minded people, who are pursuing their goals and dreams, you feel the freedom of camaraderie and you know you are not alone. 

2. To build your bravery.

When you feel the support of regularly interacting with your group, you give yourself permission to be braver because there is evidence all around you that you can do it. That evidence makes you braver. Peer pressure is a real. We tend to think of peer pressure as a negative, but in truth peer pressure is neutral. It depends on how you use it. So use positive peer pressure (and the bravery that comes with it) to go for your goal. We are always bolder and braver in a group than we are alone. Use that to set bigger, bolder goals for yourself and then be brave enough to go reach them.

3. To learn new ideas/methods.

Think of it like this. You're in a funk because you always cook the same recipe for dinner so you ask a friend for a new recipe. She gives you one she cooks all the time. She's tired of it and most likely gave it to you because it quickly came to her mind. The minute you get her recipe, you are out of the funk. It is brand new to you and you are excited about dinner again. You would have never put the ingredients together that way before. Now you are excited and energized to try a new idea or method. What is old to you is new and fresh for another and vice versa. 

4. To help you when we're down.

Unfortunately we live in a cynical discouraging world. There will always be that person who says, "Why bother? You might as well give up." Sometimes that person is you. No matter who it is, you need the support of others to help you get back on your feet.Troubleshooting isn't just for computers. It is for us. When we surround ourselves with people who are going through or have been through similar experiences, we have a built in trouble shooting network. You can learn how to overcome obstacles before, during, or even after they happen. 

There you have a few reason for changing you company. If you are the one everyone comes to for help or advice, then it's time to expand your network. You can not keep growing if you are the smartest, most driven person you know. A staple of my coaching business is to help my clients realize they don't know what they don't know. Seems trite but this works because the highly motivated women I work with are then determined to either learn what they don't know or find someone who knows what they don't know. They change their company often because they have dreams and goals they want to reach..and so should you! Epictetus said, 

"The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best!"

So I ask you, do you need to change the company you keep?

How Wasting Time At Work Can Advance Your Career

photo credit: quinn.anya via photopin cc

Wasting time at work is a cardinal sin, especially to hard working people. But I recently came across an argument for why and how you should waste time in a specific way.

Dr. Lois P. Frankel is the author of Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers. As a woman and a coach to women in leadership, I picked up the book to see what mistakes I or my female clients could be making.

Mistake #3 is working hard. I was surprised to see that on the list. The American dream is to start from nothing and, through hard work, work your way to something. We are taught that if you work hard, you will be rewarded. But Frankel suggests that is not true. Here is the example she gave.

Fake It Til You Make It: 3 Things You Should Fake

There are certain qualities that we can and should fake until they become a natural extension of us.

Photo Credit: itamaryu via Compfight cc  

I am a member of Toastmasters International and am active in a local Toastmasters group. In the Toastmaster's International magazine, I came across an article called "Fake it 'til you make it." 

It was one members recount of his first Toastmasters speech. He wasn't a seasoned speaker or naturally gifted but instead of letting his novice shine though, he told himself that he'd fake confidence until he actually had it. That mind trick helped him achieve his first Toastmaster's award.

That got me to thinking. What are some communication or leadership qualities that are OK to fake until you actually have them?

When to Keep, Tweak, or Abandon Your Goal

I like watching the Biggest Loser. A couple seasons ago a player choose to leave the ranch. What a BRAVE act! 

Most people berated her because she “quit”. I think she had the courage to  say this isn’t for me. 

But when do you abandon a goal verses just tweaking or recommitting to it?

7 Ways To Set Goals You Will Actually Keep: Part 2

In part one, we discovered the origin of New Year's resolutions, their abysmal success rate, and the first 4 strategies that will help you set goals that you will keep. In part two, we continue with the next 4 strategies that will help you beat the odds.

7 Ways To Set Goals You Will Actually Keep: Part 1

It is resolution season! According to Wikipedia, a New Year's Resolution is a promise to either start doing something good or stop doing something bad beginning the first of the year. 

A 2007 study by Richard Wiseman from the University of Bristol involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail, despite the fact that 52% of the study's participants were confident of success at the beginning. Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting, (a system where small measurable goals are being set; such as, a pound a week, instead of saying "lose weight"), while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends. source

So how can you bet the odds and actually keep your resolutions? In this two part blog post series, you'll get practical advice that works!

Learn To Be Yourself

This summer I took my kids to see Rio in theaters.

We own the DVD of the movie and have seen it hundreds of times. I thought it would be the perfect way to introduce my young children to the movie going experience without producing too much anxiety about the big screen, dim lighting, and loud sound. As the movie started, the anxiety of the unknown left my kids and they melted into the familiarity of the characters, music, and lines they knew all too well.

I too experienced the movie in a new way. 
Here are 3 ways you can learn to be yourself...Rio style!

Approach Your Communication Strategy Like a Business Plan: #Blog4Biz Day 29

"Write the vision, make it plain" ~Habakkuk

"Clear language precedes clear thought" ~Immanuel Kant

"Begin with the end in mind" ~Steven Covey

"Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others" ~Jonathan Swift

"A business plan forces you to convert your idea into an actual blueprint..." James Carden

All of these quotes emphasize the importance of having a vision and writing it down. The business plan is the written vision and road map to success of any business. The executive summary of a business plan is the short answer to the "who", "what", "when", "where", "why" and "how" of any business or project. It is tailored to a specific audience.

Today's #blog4biz challenge asked us to write or rewrite the executive summary of our business plan. This is a challenging task for several reasons. Although it is the short answer, it is often the hardest to write. So much so, that some business plan coaches, templates, and advisors recommend writing the executive summary last.


Instead of copying and pasting my executive summary here. I am going to show you how to write your own business plan for your personal communication success. 

One of the services I offer my coaching clients at BRAVE Communication LLC is individual communication strategies ideation. Ideation is a new buzz word for "brainstorming" or "idea creation". I help you identify the  "who", "what", "when", "where", "why" and "how" of a communication issue to come up with the best strategies for executing your plan. 

Connect The Dots Of The Past For Insight Into The Future

Only 5 more days until you can enter to win a $50 gift card to Target. Click here for more information on the BRAVE-LY Back At It Giveaway!

Today the #blog4biz challenge has me thinking about my past jobs. What were the good parts of all the jobs I have ever had that I would like to incorporate into my business?

This is going to be a nice trip down memory lane...for me at least. I hope you like it too. You'll get to see all the things I did through out my life and follow the twisty road to where I am today.

Job 1: I got my first job when I was 17. My mom wouldn't let me work while I went to high school but the summer before I left for college was open season. I got a job with United Vision Sales as a kiosk salesperson for Magic Pens. I would stand at my kiosk and demonstrate the pens. They were really markers. They would write one color and when you went over that writing with the white pen, it would "magically" change colors. Something happened and the person who hired me, left and I was "promoted" to manage of that kiosk. As manager, I had to attend the manager training in New York City.

The Lesson Instagram Revealed About Growth: #Blog4Biz Day 25

I am absolutely amazed at the lessons I am learning as I do this #blog4biz daily blogging challenge. I want to write about those lessons but I am restraining myself.  Just in case the Day 31 prompt is write in a 1,000 words the lessons you have learned doing this challenge, I want to make sure I have enough material to meet the word count.

Today's challenge forced me to sign up for an Instagram account. I have never used Instagram before. I am not completely sure I will continue using it. My task today was to take a picture of my favorite office things and share that photo on Instagram and my blog.

Taking It to the Next Level: #Blog4Biz Day 9

The Living BRAVE blog re-launches on Aug 1, 2013. During July, however, I accepted the #Blog4Biz daily business blogging challenge. The challenge is designed to help business owners focus on certain aspects of blogging that will expand their skill, boost creativity, and focus their message. Initially, I wasn't going to publicly share my posts, but as I started writing these posts, I saw the value in sharing...and some of this stuff is really good!  If you want to join the challenge, click here.

I used to watch Chef Emeril Lagasses's cooking show from time to time. I never watched because I ever planned to make any of the scrumptious looking meals he prepared. I watched to see how he would interact with his audience, the band, AND for the way he would "Kick it up a notch!" with his signature "BAMM!!!"

Today's challenge asks us to talk about what taking it to the next level or "kicking it up a notch" means to my business.

As you can see from the header of each blog post in #Blog4Biz challenge, on August 1, 2013 I plan on taking my business blog to the next level.

After a year of trying to figure out the best way to use the blogging platform, I have never been clearer.

People want to do business with people. They may be intrigued by your product or service but ultimately if they connect with you, then they'll do business with you. 

The purpose of my blog is to showcase my skill knowledge and my personality to make it easier for you to contact me.