Showing posts with label BraveTalk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BraveTalk. Show all posts

6/17/14

Special Offer: You Can Finally Have That Difficult Conversation...Here's How

Crucial Conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high is a best selling book with over 2 million copies sold. 

Why would a book about having difficult conversations be a best seller? 

After decades of Jerry Springer and reality television, it is clear that people don't know how to disagree without drama, name calling, or harboring hatred.

From the shooting of Arizona House Representatives to bullied students turning violent to political protests turning into violent mobs, it is evident that there is a conversation crisis in this nation.

Why are so many people turning violent? One reason is people have not learned how to release the pressure valve before it explodes.

So many people keep emotions bottled up. Small fires unchecked turn into blazing infernos which can't be recalled once unleashed.

Forget the other person for a minute, they are important and we'll get to them later, but focus on yourself for a minute.

Think about that person who annoys. Is it your boss, coworker, spouse, child, friend or parent? Now ask yourself why haven't you had that conversation. 


  • Do you tell yourself its no big deal...yet talk about it about with other people?
  • Do you tell yourself you are going to "rise above it"...yet never do because it always weighs you down?
  • Do you find it exhausting to even think about where to begin because it has bothered you for so long?
  • Do you find yourself wishing you could avoid that person...even though you know you need them?


I see you nodding your head yes. We've all been there. Myself included.

Now check in with your body. How do you feel when you think about that situation, the answers to those questions, or the situation?

I would imagine you feel weighed down and tired. Aren't you tired of feeling that way? Aren't you tired of sweeping it under the rug?

If you don't learn how to have and deliver that conversation in a productive way, you'll explode at the oddest moment over the smallest thing. Maybe you've tried talking to them before, did represent yourself as best as you could?

The authors of Crucial Conversations ( Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillian and Al Switzler) actually say that when the stakes are the highest we tend to act the worst.

In order to regain your energy and freedom, you need to have a conversation. 

And not just any conversation, a conversation that allows you to be the mature, skilled, and respectful person you are.

Now let's turn your attention to the other person. Do they even know they are annoying you, causing you stress or acting in a way that is unproductive? 

We are relationship with people because we get to help each other grow. Did you ever think that your caring, well planned, drama free feedback could the crucial turning point in that person's development?

You owe it to yourself and the other person to be BRAVE enough to have a difficult conversation.

But you don't have to do it alone.

Books like Crucial Conversations are chocked full of great tips. I highlye recommend you read it.

I suspect, though, what you really need is coach who can help you tailor all the expert knowledge into a doable action plan that's right for you.

I'd like to help you with that.

For the next two weeks (offer expires June 30, 2014) I am offering 15 sixty minute phone coaching session called BRAVE Conversations where you and I will:

  • Narrow down exactly what you want to say
  • Discover what you NEED to say and why
  • Plan and outline the conversation so you are clear, respectful, and honest... not whiny or emotional
  • Practice exactly how it should be delivered 
  • Increase you confidence and eliminate your anxiety
This limited time special offer is deeply (I mean deeply) discounted at $50 per session.

I can only do 15 of these so click here to reserve your spot. Don't wait. They will go quickly. Reserve your spot today.

Come on, isn't it time you stop hiding? Free yourself. I will walk right beside you to help clear the clutter and help you get to the heart of the matter.

You can do it.  Let me help!

Go to website now (before you talk yourself out of it) and reserve your spot now!

2/17/14

You are too nice! What does that mean?

"You're too nice."

This is a phrase a client has heard over and over during his long career. Everytime he hears it, he scratches his head in confusion. The sentence is flung at him like an accusation. He is by no means a push over. He is a leader who genuinely seeks the opinions of his talent. He operates very efficiently with results. But he isn't a bull in a China shop. If things are delinquent or late, he doesn't get on the phone yelling at screaming every 5 minutes. He doesn't see the point in beating a dead horse just to prove he is in charge. He wondered if being nice is hurting his career or his opportunities for advancement because he isn't perceived as "hungry" or "urgent" or "aggressive".

Have you ever been accused of being too nice? Too happy? Too optimistic? What is does this really mean? What are people trying to say?

Is her niceness a constant reminder that you're not nice and therefore you want her stop? Or is he called too nice when you really mean he is too passive or lacks assertiveness?

Background on the #BraveTalk discussion:

It is a comment challenge where I ask a question, present a point of view, or share an idea and you tell me your thoughts on it. There are no right or wrong answers. I just want to stir up an intellectual conversation with my community. By participating you practice key communication skills like giving feebdback, writing clearly and concisely, paraphrasing what others said, etc. Participate and share.


Now that you know what's in it for you and what responsibility you have, let's get started!

- See more at: http://bravecommunicationllc.blogspot.com/2014/01/should-leaders-strive-to-be-liked.html#sthash.ZANYxFXA.dpuf

Background on the #BraveTalk discussion:

It is a comment challenge where I ask a question, present a point of view, or share an idea and you tell me your thoughts on it. There are no right or wrong answers. I just want to stir up an intellectual conversation with my community. By participating you practice key communication skills like giving feebdback, writing clearly and concisely, paraphrasing what others said, etc. Participate and share.


Now that you know what's in it for you and what responsibility you have, let's get started!


Background on the #BraveTalk discussion:

It is a comment challenge where I ask a question, present a point of view, or share an idea and you tell me your thoughts on it. There are no right or wrong answers. I just want to stir up an intellectual conversation with my community. By participating you practice key communication skills like giving feebdback, writing clearly and concisely, paraphrasing what others said, etc. Participate and share.


Now that you know what's in it for you and what responsibility you have, let's get started!

- See more at: http://bravecommunicationllc.blogspot.com/2014/01/should-leaders-strive-to-be-liked.html#sthash.ZANYxFXA.dpuf

Background on the #BraveTalk discussion:

It is a comment challenge where I ask a question, present a point of view, or share an idea and you tell me your thoughts on it. There are no right or wrong answers. I just want to stir up an intellectual conversation with my community. By participating you practice key communication skills like giving feebdback, writing clearly and concisely, paraphrasing what others said, etc. Participate and share.


Now that you know what's in it for you and what responsibility you have, let's get started!

- See more at: http://bravecommunicationllc.blogspot.com/2014/01/should-leaders-strive-to-be-liked.html#sthash.ZANYxFXA.dpuf

Background on the #BraveTalk discussion:

It is a comment challenge where I ask a question, present a point of view, or share an idea and you tell me your thoughts on it. There are no right or wrong answers. I just want to stir up an intellectual conversation with my community. By participating you practice key communication skills like giving feebdback, writing clearly and concisely, paraphrasing what others said, etc. Participate and share.


Now that you know what's in it for you and what responsibility you have, let's get started!

- See more at: http://bravecommunicationllc.blogspot.com/2014/01/should-leaders-strive-to-be-liked.html#sthash.ZANYxFXA.dpuf

1/29/14

Should Leaders Strive To Be Liked?

I was reading an article in the Denver Business Journal that talked about the 10 competencies of a good leader. While I was perusing the list, I saw the usual suspects like having vision, being inspiring, strategic, good communication skills. Then I saw a word I wasn't expecting on this list.

The author of that article included "Likeability" on the list of competencies. 

This got me thinking and is the subject of our #BraveTalk discussion for today.



Is likeability a sign of a good leader?

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. 
Use #BraveTalk on Twitter.






Background on the #BraveTalk discussion:

It is a comment challenge where I ask a question, present a point of view, or share an idea and you tell me your thoughts on it. There are no right or wrong answers. I just want to stir up an intellectual conversation with my community. By participating you practice key communication skills like giving feebdback, writing clearly and concisely, paraphrasing what others said, etc. Participate and share.


Now that you know what's in it for you and what responsibility you have, let's get started!



12/4/13

Being Busy: Is It Really A Brag Disguised As A Complaint?

As a blogger on communication skills that build leadership and deepen our connections with people, I want to deepen my relationship with you my blog readers. 

Therefore, I am going to try something new on the blog. It is called #BRAVETalk. It is a comment challenge where I ask a question, present a point of view, or share an idea and you tell me your thoughts on it. There are no right or wrong answers. I just want to stir up an intellectual conversation with my community. 


What's in it for you? In a word, practice.


Our #BraveTalk conversations are a perfect way for you to use and practice several transferable communication skills.

1. Writing. If you have a job, you are asked to write. Being able to clearly deliver your opinions in a organized fashion is a key leadership and communication skill.

2. Listening. Yes, you can practice listening online. Others will comment with their opinions. This is a great, non threatening way to practice reflective listening and paraphrasing skills.

3. Feedback. Feedback is part of life. These conversations will help you practice giving and receiving feedback. I encourage you to comment on others point of views.

4. Respect for others. Others may not have the same opinion and if you have ever been caught up in or witnessed an online argument where participants call each other names, curse, or defame one another, it can be enough to just stay silent. But that will not happen here. These conversations will not only help expand your understanding of others but enable you to show respect while still remaining true to yourself.

5. Community. We all desire to be in deep community with like minded individuals. Well how can I know your mind if you don't ever share it. You'll see you are not alone in your struggle or success. This awareness is a way to foster community here.

All of these benefits will help you become a better communicator and isn't that why I am here?

The topics or ideas will be ones that challenge a conventional way of thinking somehow. I want us to be BRAVE enough to engage in discussions that are based in respect of all opinions and encourage us to think about our responses to the status quo.

I will be using the hashtag #BRAVETalk on Facebook and Twitter to brand our discussions so you can find them. 


What's Your Responsibility?


Simple. Participate. Share. It is only good practice if we have points to read. We can't give feedback on silence so comment. Encourage others too as well. Just give your opinion.

Now that you know what's in it for you and what responsibility you have, let's get started!

1st #BraveTalk question:


Tim Kreider wrote a NY Times Blog opinion piece a while back called "The Busy Trap". In it, Kreider asserts that being busy is a self-imposed condition that we use in American society to prove our own importance. It is cleverly disguised as a complaint but in actuality we really are bragging. The author points out that being busy is essentially damaging our relationships and our contributions to the world. Being booked every minute of every day isn't good for our bodies, brains, or relationships, he says.

Have you ever been too busy to have coffee with a friend? Or does it take months of scheduling to get together with another? Has that phone call gone weeks without being returned? 






My question in our #BRAVETalk today is:

Are we addicted to being busy? Do we value being busy because it somehow proves we are important? How does being busy help or hurt our communication with others?

Leave a comment with your thoughts. And ask invite your friends to join the conversation.